Interview with Lindsay DeLong OTR/L

Personal Journey

Who are you, for those who don’t know?

So, my full name is Lindsay DeLong. I'm an occupational therapist, still licensed as an occupational therapist, and have been for 12 years. I have been working as a manager and founder of an online organization. I guess I would call it a caregiver support system, which is Equip Me OT. It’s an online resource: Instagram, YouTube, TikTok for now, and a blog that helps to provide valuable information on how to recover from or deal with complicated health challenges. So I've been doing that for almost five full years now.

I had a chance to peruse your website. It's great to see so many products to help people with their tasks of daily living. All the things that we kind of take for granted.

They often get taken for granted until you can't do them, or your loved one can't do them, and then it's kind of a mad dash to figure out what to do. And so my life's mission at this point is to now expose people to the information before they actually need it, in hopes that there's not that desperate moment of hopelessness that can come with a new diagnosis or a sudden change in health status. Instead of being afraid that they're not going to be able to do it, to knowing that there are resources that will get them through it. I think that was really what has continued to inspire me to keep rolling out, you know, piece after piece about what exists in the world, because there are so many ways to help. We just don't always know where to find them.

Well, I think it's important, and it's something that in the United States, we don't do a good job of providing preventative healthcare, and we know that. I think when I started doing this, I was legitimately afraid that my cohort of fellow therapists would be mad because I was giving this information away for free. I just thought, at no point should it be reasonable for us to say, "You have to be in the worst situation of your life to gain access to what we have in our heads from years of doing this work." That's so backwards. So, I've really enjoyed the opportunity to step aside from the traditional healthcare model and be free to share what I've gathered over decades of work. Now the cool thing is, as I've grown, I have companies who are on the cutting edge, who are developing new products, who have these great ideas coming to me and saying, "Hey, we're about to launch this thing. Would you take a look at it?" It's been such a beautiful thing to gain access to. I don't take it for granted for one second that I have that option, and that I'm very free to share it. It's been a really cool opportunity that I'll keep doing as long as, as long as I can, right?

What inspired you to become a caregiver?

I've always wanted to be a caregiver. I think I was born this way. I always joke that I was born an occupational therapist, but it took a long time for me to figure out what it was called. I was raised by people who were natural caregivers. Lots of medical professionals in my life. My grandfather was an incredible OBGYN, so I got to see a sensitive, caring male, you know, a patriarch who was delivering babies and taking care of mothers. And I just remember knowing that contributing to the community in that way made him a superhero to all of us, and he lived to be 91. He was one of my greatest inspirations. My aunts were nurses, and one of my aunts was a neonatal social worker. I mean, just doing incredible work. I just remember being so inspired, even as a little kid, going with them and loving to see that. Then my mother and my grandmother, on the other side, while they didn't work in healthcare, were some of the most nurturing, caring people. So, this is just very natural for me.

I find myself constantly wanting to do for others, to a fault. I think we find ourselves in that position where you can give and give and give until the wheels fall off sometimes. So, I've had to confront some of those tendencies, but it's the most natural thing I can do is to care for the people in my community. I've always joked that I would completely do all of this for free for the rest of my life, and I do. I mean, most of what I do involves social media, and that is completely unpaid. For me, it feels right to be doing that, and I'm just really fortunate that I've found other ways to make it something I can sustain as a livelihood as well. That's why occupational therapy and OT are such creative spaces, more so than some of the other, more science-heavy, traditional healthcare spaces. Occupational therapy is everything we are. “What are you going to do and how are you going to do it?” Basically, we answer those two questions in healthcare. My father was an engineer, you know? So, I have that too, and those two things collided to make me, I think, really well suited as a caregiver and professional. And in my non-professional life, I am the one who everybody texts when something goes sideways.

I didn’t realize caregiving ran so strongly through your family! I really commend the people who have such a nurturing and deep-seated need to help others.

I think that it's almost a compulsion. I always joke that it's almost like my compulsory need. I love that famous saying by Mr. Rogers, you know, “Find the helpers.” I always took that very seriously. I always wanted to be one of the helpers, to a fault. You have to care for yourself while you're caring for others, and that has taken me a lot longer to realize. It's much more natural for me to care until I can't than it is for me to take a little bit of that care for myself so I can extend it to others. That's why I ended up taking time away from direct patient care to do what I do now. I needed more balance in my life. Now I'm able to care on the same level I always wanted to, but I can also be here for myself and my family, for my kids. So, I have found balance over the years, but that's difficult to do, and for caregivers, it's one of the greatest challenges. I think that's one of the biggest challenges for anyone, but especially caregivers. When you get into the field of caregiving, no matter what extent that is, or even if you're thrust into it, I definitely feel like it takes a certain type of person with high empathy to be able to do this kind of job. To do that and also balance having empathy for yourself and having the emotional maturity to know when to say, “Hey, I need to take time for myself.” It’s really tricky. It's a precarious balance, and I'm still not great at it. I'm working at it. We're all works in progress, right?

Defining Moments

Can you describe a defining moment in your caregiving journey that reinforced your passion for this work?

I was very fortunate. I got my degree in 2012, and I got my very first job at an inpatient rehab hospital called Mary Free Bed here in town. It's a pretty well-respected rehab hospital, and a very challenging environment to work in. I was working primarily with the brain injury population, which was notoriously difficult, as the patient population can be quite varied. You know, there are a lot of big emotions, it can be physically demanding, and all of those things. I really was enthusiastically taking it all head-on, no pun intended, and then I had one of those experiences where I didn't think I could do it, and I was like, “This is too much. It's too hard. I'm never going to be able to really help these people.”

I had one patient come in, a young guy about my age. He and his wife had been married for about six months. I had just been married to my husband for about six months, and it was very much like looking in a mirror. Her husband was on his way to a job interview and got in a horrible car accident, and their entire world was turned over. And I remember thinking, "This is my chance. I'm gonna do something!" So, I asked every question I could to all of the more experienced, seasoned therapists. I got out of my own way. I worked really hard, and we started to make progress. They ended up with us for like, six months, and made some really excellent gains, and I maintained contact with them throughout my entire career. To this day, I'm still in contact with them.

She eventually reached out to me to let me know that she was applying for OT school because of the experience. Not to pat myself on the back, that's not why I knew, but working with them. They were so invested in his recovery, the family was incredible, and I was also involved and invested in that process. Seeing that progress, and seeing what I could do so super early in my career, it lit a fire under me that I don't think has ever gone out. Every patient I've seen from then on, I can't help but think of that couple. It's like, if I can help them, I can help anyone! Because the situation was dire: fresh out of a coma, 22 years old, whole life ahead of him, and then with a snap of the fingers, everything's changed. It was eye-opening and heart-wrenching, but they have two beautiful children now! They have a wonderful life. They live in the mountains. I don't want to make it about me, because it's not, but if I hadn't just doubled down and been part of that journey, I wouldn't have seen what I've gotten to see them do now. You know, caregiving doesn't always have a happy ending. It rarely does, in fact, but they were kind of a catalyst for me. So, that was probably one of the most defining moments early on in my career. I've had many since then, but that one will always stand out.

It's really cool that you still keep in touch with them, even so many years later.

I couldn't let them go! They're my friends. I think in the moment, I needed that relationship to feel somewhat deeply rooted in the work. It was beautiful! It was almost like they were put there for me to see that I can do this. Like, these are the people you're going to help, and this is how you're going to do it. I just felt very inspired and led. To this day, I look to that experience to keep me going. Yeah, they're a beautiful testament to what you can accomplish when there are a lot of people rooting for you in the right direction. You know, it's kind of unheard of, really, to see what kind of things they've been able to do. It's pretty cool!

I really like that you said, “When you have the right people rooting for you.”

Yeah, as a caregiver, there's no greater value than the people around you believing in what you can do. I think that goes for the caregiver as well as the person being cared for. I remember a lot of people saying, "I don't know if this is something I can do." I always reply, "Don't say that! Instead, let's say, "What can we do? What's next?" It's the "one foot in front of the other" mantra, and the people around you have to be doing that as well. I think that feeling was what elevated me out of the "I can't do this, this is too much" mindset that can hit a lot of us when we're early on in our journeys.

Would you say that this would be some of the more rewarding aspects of being a caregiver for you? The collaborative aspect of it?

I always say this to young therapists: you have to remember you're not caring in a vacuum. You are not caring for an individual in a hospital bed alone. You are in a very dynamic system. There are people, there are environments, and there are so many other individual factors all around you. You're far from alone, and having that collaborative aspect of it, I think, can be the most rewarding. It's very challenging to manage, sometimes, because not all collaborative experiences are super, super beneficial. Some of them are very difficult and can be contrary, but if you can break through and find or create systems within that, you’ll have much better outcomes. That's why I think I've had a very successful career as an OT. I've never lost sight, whether I'm working with a caregiver or the patient, I'm always focused on all the different pieces of their life puzzle, not just where I'm seeing them with blinders on today.

That's very rewarding because you do become a part of people's lives, more so than if you became just a snapshot of a singular rough moment in time. It's always best if you see none of us. I always joke like, “I love you. I'm glad I got to meet you, but I hope to never see you again.” That's the best-case scenario. So, I've always made it my kind of mission. I always want to leave people better than I found them, certainly, and not just them, but their whole system. The collaborative system they exist within. That's helped me a lot to frame my therapeutic approach and how I work with folks, because I hope that people will look at me the same way when I need help someday. That they aren't just looking at me, they're also looking at how my kids are engaged and how my husband and my in-laws are engaged. You know, that's all part of the system. You don't just care for one thing, you care for a lot of things, right? It's an environment, it's a biome, it's not just one aspect. It's not just one person who needs help. It's a whole family system that needs it, and it's complicated, but if you can get that system flourishing, beautiful things can happen. I mean, just mind-blowingly beautiful things in really tough situations.

Care Recipient

Who do you care for, and what is their condition or situation?

So, I care for everyone, but as a career OT, my world has revolved around adults. I tried to do peds, but I took every baby home with me in my mind and in my heart. I was just a hot mess all the time because I had too much empathy. I was just a mess. So, I've worked with everyone from 18 to 115 years old with everything in between. Then, in my personal life, I have cared for and supported every single member of my family in some way, shape, or form. I have been very involved in the care of my grandparents, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've lost three of my four grandparents. I have one remaining, whom I feature all the time in my work because she's an angel. I find that having an intimate connection as a caregiver versus a professional connection with a caregiver is extremely valuable for me as a professional. I like to have personal caregiving experiences, so that I can have a more empathetic or compassionate approach. I'm so grateful that I was able to be part of my grandparents' caregiving journeys. My parents, aunts, and uncles have been incredible caregivers as well, so I've been able to watch and study and be part of that. Then, when I give that information out to the world, I can do it in a way that has a background in both the professional and personal sides of caregiving. Which I've been doing for most of my mature life, for well over a decade, actually.

It's been a real mix of physical, cognitive, and psychosocial disabilities. You name a disability, and I've probably worked with it. I think I have a very unique perspective because of that. I, myself, am not disabled. So, I find it really important that I'm communicating with and absorbing the information from caregivers and patients who are living that experience, so that I can accurately and empathetically share what it is they may need. My caregiving journey is gigantic and complicated, but also small because I've only had my dear sweet grandparents that I've been supporting alongside, like, 500,000 followers on the Internet. Some days they are also my patients. I mean, I probably get 100 to 200 DMs weekly on Instagram alone that directly ask a caregiving-related question. I answer all if I can. So, you know, that's a lot of folks, I like to think, from all over the world and in all different walks of life. I'm so grateful that I get to be a small piece in their journeys. It's really important.

I did have a chance to go watch a lot of your videos in preparation for this interview. How does your grandmother feel about featuring in your videos?

She is such a ham! I actually think she's starting to figure out that people love her, because her videos always go viral. I joke with her, I'm like, "I gotta have you in all my videos, because now when brands wanna partner with me, they say it's contingent on grandma, like, is grandma gonna be in there?" They don't want me, they want my grandma. I'll say, "Listen, grandma, I'll take you out for lunch if you'll shoot a video." She absolutely loves it, she is the most supportive, game-to-try-anything, person. A lot of older adults don't love the idea of adaptive equipment. It just doesn't vibe with them, and she's very honest. If she doesn't think something is for her, she'll say she doesn't like it. My response is always, "Great, we won't share it." You know, she's in charge, but she's also always on the lookout for things that will help her friends, and I think that's a really adorable side. That's kind of her side hustle, like, "My granddaughter's coming, we're gonna make a video, and then we're gonna drop this off at someone's room because she needs this piece of equipment. I don't need this piece of equipment, but she does." She's an absolute gem, and I couldn't do it without her.

It's always good energy. It's impossible to test adaptive equipment if you don't have somebody with those experiences. I run my adaptive equipment through a lot of different actual patients because I don't trust my own instincts on everything. It's really important that I get outside perspectives before I go off sharing things. She's become my guinea pig, but then she has friends who are always volunteering to be my guinea pig, too, because she lives in a small residential facility. So when I come in with boxes of new equipment, they get all excited, and everybody wants to come do demos. The whole concept of making adaptive equipment entertaining was also one of the root reasons I started making the videos. People shouldn't be afraid of this stuff! It's fun! They're like cool toys. They're toys that help you. They're gizmos. They're gadgets. Some of them are more interesting than others, but, you know, if you kind of phrase it like that, the enthusiasm mounts and before you know it, you people are clamoring for this equipment.

Achievements and Contributions

What are some of your notable achievements in your caregiving career?

I was asked to be an adjunct professor at my alma mater, my master's level OT program. I was asked to come back and teach a semester this fall. In my mind, it was a pretty big moment of recognition. Just feeling that the people who taught me how to be an occupational therapist had seen my career trajectory and thought, "You should come back and teach the next generation," and that was a big deal for me.

I felt, one, it was wonderful to be back in that educational, academic environment and to be around the younger people who are coming up, and try to give them some of what I've learned, but also learning from them in the process. That was this fall, and they invited me back next year, so I did a decent job, hopefully! That was really meaningful as far as hitting a milestone in my career. I think I've had a lot of small victories. I don't seek a lot of accolades or awards or anything like that, but I do have a silver play button for 100,000 followers from YouTube, which is pretty cool. That actually took a lot of work to get. So, I have to say it's hanging on the wall. Anytime my kids have other kids over, I have to march them in there to see my YouTube play button, because they think that's pretty cool! It wasn't really a big deal to me, but it's still proof that, well, you stuck with something long enough that you saw it grow from zero. So that's pretty special.

I guess this one's a little bit different in that it feels very business-y, but I was invited to pitch my product on QVC! Which may seem kind of random, but they reached out to me for the opportunity. Which felt like a moment of recognition, not only for the product I had developed, but they wanted my caregiving expertise and knowledge on how to help others help themselves. They wanted to grow that side of their visibility, and, you know, they're a substantial business with millions and millions of regular viewers. So, for me, that was a big moment where I thought, "We're making a dent in the community's interest in this type of product." Those things have all been special moments across this really wild, unexpected journey. Normally, I would have said something like, "Oh, I was getting my first job and, you know, just plugging away at it," but these things I could not have predicted, and they've been really beautiful opportunities to celebrate.

I mean, the silver button is something you should definitely be celebrating, too. They're all great achievenments!

I went in and did a career day with my 5th grader. Actually, she was in 3rd grade at the time. I went in to present on occupational therapy, and I showed a few of my YouTube videos and brought some products in. Once it came up in the presentation, all the kids were like, "Oh, you do YouTube?" Abby, my daughter, said, "Yeah, she has a big YouTube channel! Mom, pull up how many subscribers you have!" At the time, I had around 50,000 or something like that, and this bunch of 3rd graders were so excited for me. I remember thinking, "Oh, I should have led with that. What was I thinking?" It's all fun until they see that most of my content revolves around the toilet, and they're like, "I don't know if this is for me." But, I mean, if that's what gets them interested in OT, I'll go. If you wanna put a face to a really cool career opportunity, I'm more than happy for it to be mine. Yeah, it's been a journey!

How do you feel you have contributed to the field of occupational therapy or the larger community as a whole?

I think my biggest contribution at this point would just be awareness. I'm a big advocate, and I would say advocacy can come in so many different forms, but I like to always use the funnel analogy. You've got the widest part of the funnel where you're just trying to collect as many eyes as you can to build awareness, and that's where I'm hanging out. I feel like I've done a pretty good job of being at the big part of the funnel, channeling people down to the more niche sides further in to find other people within the OT community that suit their needs, interests, or whatever it may be. But, I think I've done a good job of drawing a lot of eyeballs, piquing a lot of curiosity.

The thing I'm most proud of is just how many great conversations I've been able to have with people over the internet. I never expected any of that, but I've had thousands and thousands of conversations where people ended by saying something to the effect of, “I didn’t know that’s what OT did; now I know to ask for it,” or “I want my loved one to receive it,” or even “I’m going to go study it,” or whatever it is. That to me has been my greatest contribution. Just making people aware that this incredible group of humans exists on the planet with very little understanding of what we can do to help. So, if I've tapped into that a little bit, I'm happy to know that that is something I've contributed.

Absolutely! Now, it's through social media like TikTok that a lot of people find out what occupational therapists even do.

Yeah! Especially during the pandemic, I feel like I learned a lot. I think we all did. I mean, I was still working in therapy with patients. I was in home health at that time, which was a wild time to be in home health. Actually, the reason I started EquipMeOT was because of the pandemic. I left my job in home health because it kind of dried up, and it was really complicated because of the pandemic. The pandemic was a tipping point for a lot of us, I think. I think social media in general has become such a valuable resource for people to see OTs in action, because I think OT is a "doing" therapy. You don't really understand it until you're "doing" it, and then it starts to click and make sense. With video content, my husband gave me great feedback when we first started making videos together. He said, “Say less, do more. If you're talking more, you're not giving people what they need. Just do it. Show, don't tell.” That information changed everything for me, because I was able to understand why people don't "get it." I can't just give an elevator speech on what OT is. I say, "I can't tell you what OT is, but I can show you, so watch." I think over time, that has started to change people's perception to, "Oh, that makes sense. Now I get it."

You hope you never have to go through this personally, but it truly is where you get to experience the field. My role has really felt like even if you haven't experienced it yet, you won't be surprised when you may need this tool or that tool. I think that in the moment with your own loved one, you have a little bit of knowledge that you can bring, and maybe to have a little bit more hope, or a little bit more clarity. I find that with myself, I'm much calmer in these situations, even when it's really scary. Because I'm like, "We can get through this. It may not end the way we want to, but we're gonna have moments of peace, comfort, and joy all throughout." It doesn't feel quite as hopeless.

Education, Training, and Experience

What formal education or training have you completed that has been essential in your caregiving role?

So, obviously, my master's in OT is the base for everything I do. I also have a bachelor's in psychology. When I talk to young people who are interested in entering the healthcare or caregiving space, I say that having any sort of background or formal education in the psychology field will be invaluable. It provides me with a lot of insight into the "why" I'm seeing what I'm seeing. It's easy to start absorbing a lot of negativity into yourself, but having that background in psych has been invaluable for keeping me aware and grounded in how the mind works, in addition to all the other things I'm looking at.

So those two degrees have been, obviously, vital in my in my life. I also have a few specialized trainings. I'm a certified brain injury specialist, which I really took more to build a resume at the time. But what it actually did was give me some really valuable foundational information so that when I was providing my interventions and understanding how to work with folks, I did have that baseline knowledge. So, anything related to neuro is something I'm very, very keyed in on.

I also have an LSVT Big certification, which is a Parkinson's-specific certification. It's another one that I keep in my back pocket, which gives me a lot back. What's been cool about those certifications is not so much the knowledge of the certifications themselves, but the patients they've allowed me to have access to. I'm a big fan of the concept that you learn in healthcare by being with people. Because I had those certifications, I was given access to really complex, interesting patient cases that grew my knowledge base leaps and bounds ahead of where I would have been if I didn't have those certifications. So, it's not so much the ownership of the certification that's important, but the access to the people that I get to treat because of it.

With your Parkinson's certification, are you now specialized to help them in their therapy journeys?

LSVT Big is a consistent protocol that's used for the physical rehabilitation of individuals with Parkinson's disease. It's more to slow progress than to halt it altogether, as we know Parkinson's is progressive. It was designed by PTs, but they designed it so that OTs could also implement it, because much of the course is rooted in functional task completion. So, you have a long list of functional tasks that the person and the therapist working with them select that are important to them. Write up OT's, this is OT's bread and butter. Everything from being able to pull their keys out of their pocket to unlock their car, to buttoning a shirt, to writing their name with their tremors, all of these things can be incorporated into a very research-heavy, consistent exercise program that you do over the course of a specified time. It's very rigid. It's very medical. It's very fascinating too, because it has a lot of interesting success. It's associated with LSVT Loud, which was started by a speech therapist, to help individuals with Parkinson's with speech projection as they tend to lose that projective speech as the disease progresses. It was a fascinating opportunity that my boss offered, like, “Hey, you wanna go to this training?” I was like, "Yes!" I always say yes, and I'm really glad I did because I didn't have a lot of background knowledge with Parkinson's specifically. I learned a ton about it, and when I got back into, and kind of focused on, adaptive equipment, adaptation, and modification, that Parkinson's knowledge was really useful. Knowing not only the equipment, but also how to make the equipment functionally effective for somebody with a disease like Parkinson's, it's very different. For example, you don't just use the button hook, you have to do a movement before to stabilize the hand before you use the button hook, so having those extra pieces can make it. It's like the extra pieces of a puzzle so that you can actually get a complete picture, and not just a lot of holes that you're just kinda plugging randomly. Those different skills have come in incredibly clutch over the years, and I continue to take courses. I'm a forever learner, so anytime I have access to, I do.

What current courses are you taking, if you can share that with me?

Well, I usually sit in on a lot of courses. Lately, my world has shifted a great deal into the manufacturing and engineering of adaptive and healthcare products, so, I've gotten a crash course, recently. I've been learning about everything from how products are manufactured, why they're manufactured in certain ways, where they're manufactured, and how you go about designing, developing, selling, and marketing them. This business side of healthcare has been a major mental shift for me. It felt very cold and almost sinister when I started because I thought, "Where's all the heart? Where are all the people?" I was very wrong! There's a lot of heart. There are a lot of people. There's a lot of really beautiful things happening in the product development space with a lot of people who want to do great, important stuff to make a difference! So, that's where my current obsessions have been, everything from learning how silicone is manufactured to, you know, I've been trying to get good at using things like the design software to start 3D rendering, and, I mean, marketing. I take marketing classes all the time because I'm learning how to market myself and products. I mean, I literally just had to take a course on how to be a good salesperson on QVC because I'm gonna go out there. But I'm not just selling products, like, I'm not just hawking late-night products. I'm telling people how to take better care of themselves and hopefully seek out caregivers and things like that. So, my world is very different than it used to be. That's cool! That's, I think, that's OT. We're constantly shifting gears. I feel so many people in healthcare, on the admin or business side, still want to help people and be part of an industry that ultimately helps people. There are beautiful people and beautiful things happening in every industry. You just don't always see it.

I love that you guys are kinda straddling those 2 worlds too, because I think it's so important to bring heart back to the product world. Because I think people want it. People want solutions. They need solutions. We can't get through life without them, and so putting effort into the face, the heart, and the purpose behind these products makes them feel so much more connected to the "why." You know? Otherwise, it just feels like we're just trying to get another dollar out of people, and I'd rather give this to you for free, trust me. That's why I'm so transparent about my process. My process of developing a product is done transparently, out loud, on my social platforms. Anyone who follows me can know how much it costs, who's doing the work, and how it's being done. I say, "I'm gonna bring you guys with me so you can see this process and understand where your stuff comes from." And hopefully, that helps to make this a more personable experience.

Vision and Legacy

What do you hope to achieve in your caregiving career moving forward?

My goal when I was young was always to be an expert in my field, and that's what I always used to tell people. My only goal was that whatever I chose to do, I wanted to be an expert in my field. That has since changed. I don't care as much about being an expert as I do about being an authentic and passionate version of whatever it is I become. I think at this point, what I want to be is a contributor to the better good of humanity. When it comes to it, life is hard. Let's make it a little easier, and as they always say, make the world a little bit better than you found it. That, I feel, is my entire mission. So, I don't always know what that's gonna look like from one day to the next, but I do think that, ultimately, that's the achievement I hope to leave with. Just lead with authenticity and passion, and make people aware that there's really good stuff happening behind the scenes, and we're here because we wanna help.

How do you want to be remembered as a caregiver?

Kind. I'm not a very good listener. I love to talk, so one of the things I've been working on as I've grown older and more mature is not only to care about the patient, but to truly listen. I think that's something. When I was young and in the therapy world, I tended to want to be the expert in the room. I wanted to be respected. I wanted to be heard. And as I get older and further into my career, I've become more compassionate, I think, towards myself and others. I want to make sure that I am known for being kind, for listening, and truly hearing people's needs and understanding them, versus just being the expert in the room who can talk at you all day long. I think that's beautiful too. I honestly think we need more healthcare professionals who get it like that. Professionals who really want to put the patient first, and the patient has all the information, you just have the wherewithal to make those puzzle pieces fit together. That's exactly how I feel. I don't want it to be looked at as a top-down approach, we're partners. Like I said, that collaborative aspect of care is what I thrive on and what really brings me the best sense of joy. It's that collaboration that makes it a medical partnership instead of a medical transaction.

What advice would you give to new caregivers entering the field?

Ask a lot of questions. I think we expect ourselves to be all-knowing for some reason, and maybe it's fear that we're going to be looked at as being less than, or maybe not capable of being a caregiver for somebody, but questions make you better. I think once I got out of my own way and started asking more than talking, I really opened myself to this experience. And admitting when you're wrong, you know, we're not gonna get it right every time. Life is full of trial and error, and it's okay to err. You just can't stop there. You have to keep going, and that's where the real fortitude comes from. That's where the real breakthroughs come from: when you mess up or you fall down. Sometimes, even bad things can happen. I've had terrible situations unfold that were my fault. You know? I screwed up, and having to face those facts, learn from them, and admit when I was wrong, even as a caregiver when that feels scary and, like, you could lose the respect of the person you're caring for or others, is truly the only way to be a good caregiver.

I think learning to accept when you're wrong, and learning to accept criticism, is the hardest thing to get in your head when you think about trolls on the Internet. I have been trolled and trolled and trolled. That's the most valuable thing I've learned from being on social media. You're gonna be told you're wrong 950,000 times a day. I get 8,000,000 views every week, and the number of comments I get that tell me, “You are an idiot.” Now, I've learned to funnel through some of those and think, "Maybe I'm not." But I get relatively reasonable critiques too, and I had to stop thinking, “How dare you,” and instead think, “Actually, you might have something there.” I've learned a ton by not constantly being defensive of my own knowledge. I don't know everything. I don't even know close to everything. I'm happy to be a resource, but heavens, I'm happy to be a vessel too. You sift through all of it, and you start to parse out what is going to be valuable for you going forward, and that's a skill, and it's taken me a long time to figure that skill out. I'm still, daily, trying to figure out, "Oh, is this actually something I need to listen to?" The reality is there's so much good stuff to pick out and to learn from, and I've made lifelong friendships from the comment sections that I otherwise would have never talked to. It's so life-changing, and it's beautiful when you open yourself up to potential criticism and, you know, all the things that we try to avoid as humans, but that have evolved into these beautiful partnerships and collaborations. So, really, that's the theme of this story is just collaboration, I think.

Closing

Thank you for sharing your story and insights! Your contributions to the field of caregiving are invaluable and will inspire many.